I am fired up and over it. You know those days or weeks when you wake up and you say to yourself, really? Can this really be how people conduct themselves as functioning adults? I would say this has nothing to do with Autism or Alzheimer’s but it does in the sense that all of these things, issues, challenges form me and how I want to conduct myself on a daily basis. If you can sense I am frustrated, overwhelmed, annoyed, well, you get a goddamn gold star. Nike may owe me money using their slogan and not the other way around since I guarantee I say it way more than they do.
So I am a big believer in the golden rule, but we need a little modern day twist on it for survival purposes. Maybe these are just my guidelines for sanity in dealing with people.
Here is my list of things that are important that demonstrate you have actually mastered some form of adulthood, some form of functioning in modern society. By the way, for you naysayers out there responsibility and fun are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes the more responsible you are, the better the fun can be. If you have a good, responsible job then you are able to take even more fun vacations, go and do more fun activities. DUH! So here goes:
- You have a smart phone, you do! If someone you give a crap about texts you text them back. Say thanks, say got it, say ok. Ask them, how are you? Common courtesy and consideration in the modern era, geez!! Not brain surgery, but kindness and consideration go a long way. Treat people how you want to be treated.
- You have kids, they need things, they need stability. It is not ok to let someone else take responsibility for the things your kid needs. Not now, not ever. Kids need certainty. If you have trust issues it’s probably because someone in your life who you relied upon and trusted, e.g. a parent, let you down. When I was growing up if my folks said we were going somewhere or doing something, we did. I am a very trusting person, which can lead to disappointment, but I always want to believe in the good.
- Analyze your own behavior. Einstein, a genius, yes a genius, was the one who said don’t do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. If you don’t like something in your life, change it. Stop complaining….stop the delusion.
- Be introspective and grow. Try and think about how others perceive you. What are you contributing to the universe? Do you smile at people, do you make others feel at ease? Do you ever help anyone just because they needed help, not to be a big shot? Do not think you are entitled to anything in this world, you are not. You are not entitled to squat.
- Do you model good behavior for your kids, friends, coworkers? Because guess what, people do what you do, not what you say. No one does this all of the time, but thinking about it, the mental exercise alone forces changed behavior. JUST DO IT!
So for the record, I am not saying that I am doing all or any of these things well, but I want to, I strive to, I care. I want to always feel that there is something for me to improve, some thing I need to aspire to. I want my children to look at me and respect me not only as a mother, but as a woman, a confidant and a person who is on it. Respect is earned for sure, and it’s earned by doing, not by talking. The great thing is that every single day is an opportunity to make an improvement, even a minor one. Sounds a little trite but sometimes the smallest things make the biggest impact. You know those dieting sites that say just eliminating one fattening thing will help you to lose weight? They are typically talking about soda which is a loaded with sugar and calories. But just removing one toxic thing in your life can make all of the difference. Ok I’m done.