I’ll take Jack Black movies for $200 please Alex.

I have watched School of Rock at a minimum twenty times. I am not exaggerating. It’s a great movie, love the music, the whole vibe. I like Jack Black, mostly, he is great in this movie. Bryan gets on a thing, a movie, tv show, song and he must watch it or hear it over and over and over. I have read many articles, books, etc. about why kids with autism do this, but to me, I think it’s just comfort. There is something comforting in what is familiar. The constant rewinding, well that’s still a tough one. Sometimes I think that Bryan does this because he wants to memorize what they are saying so he can have something to say. Sometimes I think he does this because he needs the repetition to really understand something. Bryan also loves music so at times I think he is just trying to learn songs. After watching School of Rock he loves to use his ipad to find the music videos of the songs and play them with the words. This is learning, yes? So today on World Autism Awareness Day, I will more than likely watch some part of School of Rock. Bryan loves for me to say the lines, we do the Jack Black handshake and we giggle. I guess it’s some form of relating with Mom that doesn’t require the mental toughness of asking and answering questions. While I’m typing he just came over and asked me “We can watch School of Rock? From the beginning?” I try to negotiate with him to start in the middle so I get to see the end because often I fall asleep before the end. I dread the idea of watching it, yet the snuggly, happy Bryan always wins me over.
I am humbled by autism. I can’t get over the 1 in 68 and 1 in 42 boys. The best odds I ever had at winning were autism, go figure. Must be some f-d up birthday wish. “I said I want to win the lotto, not turn blotto”. Yikes. Autism is a phenomenon. While it forces an impossible struggle in the day to day lives of families, it enables the best of mankind. A day hardly goes by where I don’t have a connection with some new person or distant person because of this disorder. I posted on facebook a question about autism meds earlier this week and some people responded to me publicly or privately that I never even knew had this in their lives. Someone took time out of their busy day to give me a little piece of knowledge. Those little pieces hold the keys to my heart.They propel me in a way that’s hard to describe. My friend Karen explained how she uses essential oils for her daughter. I had never really considered this for Bryan. Whether I go down that road or not, just exercising my brain in that direction will help me to help Bryan. Thinking is a very underrated activity. We must all think about our kids. I do not want to solve the puzzle of Bryan. To me, I want to reverse engineer him to find out he processes things, why do things come out differently for him than for me? Would something as pure and simple as a scent rubbed on the nape of his neck draw him closer to me? We all associate scents with times in our lives and they are meaningful. I treasure the fact that I can still smell my grandfather in my mind. We say mind’s eye, can’t we say mind’s nose? I smell cinnamon and I immediately think about how much my mom loves that smell. If I smell chocolate pudding the image of my mom stirring it in a small metal pot immediately rushes in. So today, on World Autism Awareness Day I am going to be aware. Aware that autism may be the biggest challenge ever, but it is also the greatest gift.
Let’s Get Rocking!!!

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