So here’s the thing, puberty sucks. Bryan has been showing signs of puberty for a long time so it’s not as if any of this is new or shocking, but I guess since he can communicate better and because he is more aware, we were able to coast just a bit. I know saying puberty sucks is not a revelation to anyone with a teenager but there are unexpected things coming from Bryan. I have to say, for the first time in a long time, I’m really not sure how to properly address these things. He says a lot of things now to be provocative, to get our attention, or just because he can. I think I was romanticizing him in my head and his behavior while he was gone for the summer, that he might come back more in control and more articulate and more forthcoming with language. That is an autism rookie mistake and I am learning my lesson. I always need to remind myself, hey Jane you dumb shit, he still has autism. Damn it sucks.He is also overly emotional at times. There are a whole bunch of things that he is saying that are making us cookoo for cocoa puffs. For example, and these are direct quotes:
- I don’t say fuck.
- Casey is dying, it’s funny. (Casey was our 14 year old cat we had to put down in June).
- Blue Clues are for babies.
- You’re mad at me. It’s funny.
- Son of a bitch.
- Show me your mad face, happy face, frustrated face, etc. (this all stems from Snow White and the 7 dwarfs).
While Earl and I curse at times, we try to let the boys know that they shouldn’t or when it is or is not allowed. When Bryan does this he starts this inappropriate laughing and can’t get out of his own way. It is maddening. Another thing that is driving us nuts is that he likes to watch what we call “baby shows”. These include the Wiggles, Blues Clues, and Barney. I didn’t like these when he was little and I sure as hell don’t want to hear them now. I suppose there are two schools of thought with respect to watching these shows. On the one hand, what’s the harm? They are innocent and soothing. On the other hand he is 13.5 years old and that is waaaaay inappropriate from a language, learning, peer interaction level. Earl and I are in the latter camp so when we tell him we don’t watch baby shows, he says “the Wiggles are for babies.” “I don’t watch the Wiggles” and again with the hysterical laughter. Now all of this, I am sure you are thinking, is not a big deal. But somehow it is because he says these things 1000x per day and his day starts somewhere between 4 and 5 am. It sucks that at this time of the morning (I use the term “morning” loosely) screaming,, “hi mom, I love you” . This alone can make you go insane. The juxtaposition between something as sweet as I love you from your kid, when so many kids are nonverbal, set against the fact that he is screaming this at 5 am is unreal. Whose idea of a life is this? Geez!! And don’t tell me, “can’t he just….. stay in his room, read a book, watch tv, make something to eat?” Yes he can, right after he wakes us up. I always think he is going to start sleeping later but he never does. I thought teenagers were supposed to sleep until 11am every day and you had to drag them out of bed for school? The only ones dragging around here are Earl and me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older or because it was a quiet summer but I am seriously exhausted all of the time now. So while we don’t have a lot of the bad behaviors we had before, we had new fun and exciting ones to deal with and they are challenging.