We don’t get fooled again…

On my game today. We have a meeting at Bryan’s middle school to review the results of his psych reassessment. I try to pass this off in my brain that whatever they say that is negative I will not get upset or blame myself. I am putting on my protective emotional armor. For these events I am not sure how to approach the psychologist. Just so you know when we went to sign the permission forms to have the testing done we met the psychologist who was going to do the testing. She seemed to have a nice demeanor, other than that, what would I know? However, as many things go with public schools, by the time they actually got to the testing phase there was a new psychologist doing the testing. Apparently the first one got promoted and now is at the district level. Hmm. So now I am going into this with no frame of reference at all. I am fascinated by these psychologists who have to give info to the parents. I am always feeling like I am two people at these meetings; one an observer of people, trying to study their body language and words for the delivery of tough results. The other is the mommy in me, feeling the knots turn in my stomach, trying to decide if I want to completely discount what these tests and people say, or do I want to use this as a launch pad for getting more resources for Bryan. As with most things, somewhere in the middle is about right. I also hover between being the nice parent and listening patiently and warmly and the bitch mom who wants to take these people out who make sweeping judgments on my kid. Anyway, this will be a two part blog, this is the before and I’ll let you know the after….

I’m baaaack. Let me just say if you are delicate, close your email, facebook or wordpress page. I am not and this is one of those times where blogging= catharsis. I typically don’t like to say this, but if you don’t have a kid with major issues or special needs, I am just not sure you will fully comprehend this. Can you imagine someone telling you your kid is in the 1% (and not the good Romney 1%) of the population as far as intelligence? Hopefully you cannot imagine it nor can you recall it. The irony of this whole thing is the f-d up IQ test that they gave him is called the Kaufman test. I will have to grill Earl later on insane psychiatrist relatives from years past. In any event, why did we agree to these tests? It is part of the school system’s obligation to reassess, so we figured we would do it. Why do they have some woman, I believe who is a psychologist ( however not the one who administered the test to him) sit down and tell us something so preposterous? It’s almost better that the numbers were so bad because it gives them even less credibility. Then they nicely give you your very own copy of this masterpiece/report. His teacher was there and she is a love, she is explaining how well he is doing in school. I do trust and believe her but the timing just doesn’t work well. Also they love to tell parents of kids with autism how great they are at decoding words. Well, guess what, I’m really great at decoding bullshit too. Oh wow he can identify words, dude, back off, this ain’t my first rodeo. I didn’t cry, perhaps that is progress or lexapro or some combo. What seems moronic to me is that they tell you he doesn’t test well because they can’t repeat the questions and they can’t give accommodations. The point of the tests, at least I think the point, is to measure growth. As far as I’m concerned the only growth took place was me not losing it completely.

Yesterday I spoke to one of my college/law school friends who I “talk” with on facebook all of the time. He is smart and savvy and has a great sense of humor. We talked about the election and the country. I knew talking to him would bring back old memories of college and/or law school. So today I’m going to focus one of the early principles they teach you in law school; substance over form. I plan to focus on the boy, not the bs.

6 thoughts on “We don’t get fooled again…

  1. Well said….focus on the boy, not the bs. The bs will change over time, don’t get me wrong, it will still be bs, just bs with different terminology. You sound smart enough to be able to call a spade a spade and to recognize when you’re being loaded up with bs. I’ve no doubt your son is in good hands. After all… he has you as his mum.

  2. Hi Jane, you are a wonderful writer! I am an SLP and wonder why the psychologist didn’t give the Test of Nonverbal Intelligence (TONI). It cuts out the language piece and therefore provides a TRUE measure of intelligence for children with any language issues, instead of having scores (IQ) lower than it really is. Just something to consider…i enjoy your blogs!

      1. One more thought…another good nonverbal test is the Leiter. I can’t stop thinking about your blog and why in the world he was given that assessment to measure his IQ!! Hang in there and keep advocating as well as you do for your wonderful little boy!

        Sent from my iPad

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