Do you remember those old Chinese food menus when you had the family meal? (what’s up Tung Hoy?)You always got the basics, soup and egg roll, and then you had to make some selections. That is my life, and at the end I hope to be very full!! We have so many good dishes to choose from, Bryan has his speech and language pathologist Marcia, his Occupational Therapist, Cindy, his Hebrew Tutor, Robin, and his academic tutor Michelle. Oh and he gets his meds from Dr. Kothari. Jason also works with Michelle and talks to Dr. Blair, a great psychologist, from time to time. One of the “daily specials” is Mara, the most loving babysitter on the planet. So in the great Chinese meal of life we are lucky to have the big family platter. These people keep us filled up and spice up our lives. Hope my fortune cookie is good!!!
I’m calling Ripley’s Believe it or Not. I really feel like Diane Sawyer and I need to get together too. After the whole camp thing this summer I have really felt like everything and everyone seems so strange. Why do people do such crazy things?? Yesterday I emailed Jason’s teacher to go over some issues he is having and to see how we can help him. She then tells him everything I wrote, really? That’s nuts. Later on I emailed the principal so she could have an idea of some of the problems I am having. What does the prinicpal do? She emails me back and copies the teacher with my email attached! If I wanted the teacher to know everything I was telling the principal I would’ve copied her my damn self. Geez!! I am sure the teacher is really going to be happy to talk to me now.
Later on yesterday I get an email from Bryan’s camp with the newsletter they are sending out to families. They had “agreed” to update families on their new and improved safety and communication procedures. They write a whole piece about updated safety procedures for missing kids and for ensuring medicine is dispensed properly and received properly on opening day. What the heck? Wouldn’t you open this newsletter and say, what happened did you lose a kid? Is a missing kid a common occurrence? They write that if a child is missing they will notify the parents right away, DUH!!!! And I had emailed the parents whose kids were in Bryan’s bunk to let them know what happened and only one responded. A missing kid, where the camp didn’t tell you the kid was missing isn’t something that catches your attention, particularly when your kid was on the same trip and the same bunk? I give up people, you are on your own.
I feel like I am living in bizarro world. Ripley’s, here I come!
Last night was awful, seriously awful. Jason has been having a very tough time with school this year, 3rd grade, gifted class. The teacher is very strict and the math is incredibly challenging. I have heard that they switched the curriculum around so the first chapter is the hardest, WTF? way to build confidence in a little kid at the beginning of the school year. I had a tremendous amount of anxiety as a kid when it came to school; I always wanted to do well and was always afraid I wouldn’t. Last night Jason begged, literally begged me, not to go today. He has a math chapter test. When I was younger I told myself if my child ever asks me not to go to school, I will let them stay home. I hated my parents when they made me go. Ugh, but you know you have to make them go. Payback is a damn bitch, I tell you. I am ill. Is this type of thing genetic? I told him if he feels it is too hard and he is really trying I will switch his class. Do you know what he said?? He said, “No because I promised myself and God that I would stay in the gifted class for all my school years.” We are not religious, so I don’t know where this came from. Perhaps Hebrew School. However, then he asked me what does God look like? I said God is in your heart and each person has a different image of what they think God looks like. He said, ” well my God has a moustache” and continued a complete temper tantrum and fit about school. I emailed the teacher this morning. I am so upset, this is one of my biggest fears of having children being realized. There is no amount of lexapro, xanax, etc that can make this one go away.
Time to take stock in the good things. Both boys seem to be in good shape regarding school. Bryan loves his school and class and is very comfortable. He is speaking in full sentences more regularly and expressing emotions. Jason is getting into the routine and seems to be less anxious. This morning Bryan said “I’m going to miss you Mom” because I’m leaving this morning for my high school reunion. Truly that was music to my ears. I felt a little bad because I made such a big deal when he said it I think Jason felt bad when he said, “I’m going to miss you too Mom” and didn’t get the same reaction. Earl is awesome, he is so good with the boys and has no problem sending me off on my way. My job is great, my boss and the folks on my team, well they rock. My parents are in good health and my sister is great and an awesome aunt.
Can’t wait to see my girls Pammy and Donna. Let the laughing begin.
I don’t know if it’s me or just my awareness of things. I seem to always get into conversations with people about their kids and find that so many people deal with illnesses or autism, or developmental challenges that I had no idea they were dealing with. Last night I had my hair cut and colored (yep i’m totally gray) and I went to a different person because I had a time conflict and couldn’t go to my regular hairdresser. This woman is raising her granddaughter who is 3 and has many emotional and psychological challenges. We talked all throughout the hair appt about handling this stuff. When we finished she thanked me for letting her talk about these things and gave me a hug. How ironic, I didn’t do anything but listen and she’s thanking me. We all need to connect and feel we are not alone. This morning I was talking to someone I work with who was telling me their young daughter had neurosurgery. Yikes.
I told this hairdresser some things that I believe so fiercely about the journey of parenting and particularly autism as it relates to me and my delishy Bryan.
1. Kids with autism don’t lie. How great is that? If you ask Bryan, did you pinch your brother? He says, “yeah”.
2. Kids with autsim follow rules. In the morning you get up, you get showered, dressed, brush your teeth,etc. No nonsense, no whining, nothing. Just gets it done!
3. Kids with autism stay “younger” longer. You get that mushy loviness without being a huge embarrassment to your kids for a lot longer.
4. Kids with autism teach you to get your priorities straight. Can you really worry if you don’t have a fancy car or shoes if your kid needs therapy to communicate?
5. Kids with autism can make or break your relationships with everyone. I know for me I appreciate all of the support systems I have so much whether it is my husband, who is an awesome dad, or my family and friends who deal with this struggle too.
I feel that by opening myself up and talking about my issues and problems, others do so with me too. That is my life lesson for today, give and you shall receive. It may be corny but it’s true.
I am from New Rochelle, which, in case you do not know is a city in Westchester County, NY. It is the greatest place to grow up. It is diverse and my high school class had 900 kids of all sorts of nationalities and races. Great exposure for kids, a melting pot. Those of us that are from there have a bond. My 30th high school reunion is in 2 weeks. I can’t wait to see everyone. I went to the 10th and 20th and they were a blast. My husband is from New Ro too but graduated two years behind me. So he “gets” it. It has a weird mystique to it because so many of us from this hometown keep in touch. My two closest childhood friends I talk to all of the time, same for my husband. Facebook has also facilitated a lot of reconnecting and it’s been a blast. I am going up there 2 weeks from today, can’t wait!!!
I am always guilty. Guilty I don’t spend enough quality time with my boys, although I am with them so much. I am guilty I don’t get more done at work. I am guilty I don’t do more homework and better quality reading. Why is it always so tough just to be a person?? I am guilty that my kids don’t eat in a more healthy fashion, that they don’t play more sports, etc. Is this normal? I don’t know. I wish I was like the folks on House Hunters International. I love that show. You see a family and they live in Ohio and they decide to move to Poland to try something new. So cool. Or people just move to a deserted area of Australia or New Zealand. These people cannot be Jewish, there would be too much family guilt to try that one. When do you know if you are doing enough stuff? Why is my house always messy? Why do I always feel as if I’m inundated with papers and crap? What do other people do with their mail? I need to know this. Our mail comes and we have no good place to put it. Why am I not looking forward to a long weekend….