There are times when nothing else will make you feel better than crying. This week has been tough. I feel like everything is going wrong. I am the worst mom and I feel like I piece of crap. I am yelling and short tempered and I don’t like myself at all. WTF? Why does this happen? I need to break the cycle. I need to dig deeper and figure out what the issues are. Is it lack of sleep? Is it depression? Is it that I feel so bad about myself that every aspect feels like an uphill battle. Well I really need to get a grip. Last night Jason was helping me load photos on a photo frame for my Dad for Father’s Day. He has this habit of touching stuff while you are trying to figure it out and also at times he is not a great listener. We have had what seems like thousands of talks about respecting what mommy and daddy say, listening first, not touching what isn’t yours, blah blah blah, but last night, I seriously lost it. Nice modeling. I know we all go through these episodes but I feel like I am better than this, I deal with a lot, I should be able to keep it in check better. So after I apologized and we made slice and bake cookies, by the way, you don’t really slice them, you scoop them, I felt better that we did something together but worse for eating cookies when all my clothes were tight. I put him to bed, I came downstairs and sobbed, you know the Terms of Endearment kind of sobbing. Don’t feel better. Ugh.